Community Group Questions 3/4/12

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Sermon Title: Together Part 4: Becoming One

Main Text:  Ephesians 5:31-33, Genesis 2:24-25,

Topics:

  • The concept behind marriage is that two people are becoming one. It is more than simply “tying the knot,” or “gettin’ hitched” to each other. Two separate individuals are becoming ONE unit.  This is symbolized by the unity candle ceremony at a wedding.
  • The Bible talks about how this happens:
    • A man leaves his Father and mother
    • The two are joined together
    • And they will be one
  • This process is established in Genesis 2, as one of the first things God did.  This is one of the things that God created, and He created it early on.
  • However, this is a difficult process. It is does not simply happen naturally.
  • There are things we have to leave.  Particularly our families.  We have to be more our spouse’s than our families.  Our spouse has to have greater influence and be a greater priority in our lives.  Our friends have to be in second place in their influence of us. There are other areas of individuality that we have to leave behind.
  • We have to hold fast to each other.  And things can get in the way of that.  We can let things distract us, like leisure activities, hobbies, family obligations, and even our own children.
  • A major part of “being one flesh,” is the sexual component.  If we are lusting or fantasizing over someone else we are not protecting that one flesh bond.  Lust is not our friend, it is robbing us of intimacy and the satisfaction we are really wanting. It is a mirage that promises pleasure but leaves one frustrated.
  • We can also desire attention and admiration from someone other than our spouse that is not protecting being one flesh (i.e. flirting, immodesty).  The biggest danger with immodesty is not that it can cause a brother to stumble (although that is definitely a major element), it is longing for attention that should be reserved for your spouse.  It is the same as a guy being flirtatious or charming even just to get a woman’s attention.  There can be emotional, mental, social polygamy, not just physical.
  • Love and Respect
    • If a woman longs to be viewed as a partner in what her husband does, she has to show genuine interest in it along the way.
    • If a husband wants to be sought for his input and counsel in an important area, he has to invest time listening and journeying through that with her.
  • If you are married, what to do:
    • Talk, talk, talk
    • Schedule time together, date night
  • If you are dating:
    • You are not one flesh yet.
    • Guard your heart.
    • Don’t give all of your time to them.
    • Sharing your sexuality is off limits.
  • If you are single:
    • Modest and Lust
    • Prepare now for monogamy on all its fronts.
  • DTR

Key Questions:

  • What are some examples of the power of unity outside the marriage?
  • Is there a couple you know, that you think display a real oneness?
  • Why is the process of becoming one something that is so difficult, so against our nature?
  • Particularly, in what ways does becoming one in a marriage require vulnerability?
  • What do you think are some common “oneness killers” in a marriage?
  • What does it look like when a husband or a wife doesn’t “leave” his father or mother when they get married?
  • What are other things married couples need to leave behind when they get married?
  • How does someone go about alluring attention or admiration from someone, that they should only be getting from their spouse?
  • How does that impact their marriage?
  • Why is talking and listening essential to a marriage?
  • What do you think makes something so simple hard to do?
  • Answer one of the following questions:
  • What is a practical thing that you plan to do to gain some ground in the oneness of your marriage?

OR

  • What is a boundary you want to put in place to keep yourself from prematurely growing in oneness in your relationship?

OR

  • What are some good boundaries and practices to put in place to prepare for the oneness of a marriage one day?

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